70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
