woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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