K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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