He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
