Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
