So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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