4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
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