he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
So here I am, sexting at work.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
