32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I think my vagina is haunted
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Randomize
