I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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