Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
