how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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