If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Randomize