I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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