I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
sex in a hospital.. check
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
