Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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