is your mom at the bar?
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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