CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Randomize
