i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
