Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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