I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
