A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
