Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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