Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
