and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
