I feel like abortions should bother me more
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
we should paint friendship bongs
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
