Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
