Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
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