Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
