remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
