just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
