Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
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