I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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