Where is the hickey?
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
So much rum. So many feels.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
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