If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize