I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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