I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
