also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
