Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
