Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
