I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
no, he came in my armpit
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize
