Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
bring money and cleavage
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
