when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
