we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
