Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
