See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
i think my cat just said my name.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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