M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
