sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
