Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I'm too high and old for this...
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
