guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
