watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Randomize
