All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
