Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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