This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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