It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Randomize
