The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
