You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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