its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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