Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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