did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize