apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
