we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
she told me i tasted like america
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Randomize
