you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
