So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Too much gin, very little bucket
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
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