Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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