I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
