wakey wakey hands off snakey
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
