So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
