Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
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