he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
organizing the empties. That sober.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
