No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
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